Masked Intruder

He's BAAAACK!

My furry little friend came a'visitin last night.

Sorry, do you not know what I'm talking about? Well, how could you... let me fill you in.

Two weeks ago I got home late and the Matts were up doing dishes in the kitchen. Matt #1 had called and asked Matt #2 to come over because a raccoon had tried to get into his window - apparently he was studying, looked up, and there was a little face, poking through the curtains!

It really freaked him out.

So a few days later, I'm in the kitchen whipping up some dinner and I hear this scratching noise. My immediate thought is "Oh God - there's a rat in the pantry!" But I go to the pantry and realize the noise is coming from the other direction -- from the window. So I go over and open the curtains, and there he is again! The window was only open about an inch and he was sticking his paw in... Maybe he thought he could squeeze through?

Then last night, it was too hot in my room. So I go to my bedroom window, open the gate (that keeps the rapists out), and throw open the window. I have my head half way out when I realize there's a little face about a foot from mine, just staring up at me.

Freaked me the f*ck out. I jumped back and the back of my head slammed into the window frame, which left me a little disoriented. It took me a second to realize that the little buggar had decided he wanted to come in!

So I did the same thing I did when that devil-monkey on the beach tried to steal my shoe - waved my arms and hollered like an ape! Which is embarrassing, but desperate times call for desperate measures...

Thank God it worked.

I CANNOT have coons thinking they're welcome in my apt. And what does he want anyway?

Is he not aware that Central Park is right across the freaking street?!

City animals are crazy, man. Cra-AY-zy!