A Thousand Miles

How far is L.A. from NYC???

Damn...

You're a bitch - I'm a Seven!

Ya'll know I love me some Ugly Betty. Mucho.

So last night there was a whole swirl of drama: Claire almost assassinating Wilhelmina, Alexis getting her memory back, Daniel pouting (which is kind of getting old…), Hilda and Justin coping with the loss of Santos, and Henry pining for Betty even though he's about to have a child with another woman. In the midst of all the drama, the writers still manage to eek in some seriously witty comedy!

Marc gets to oversee an underwear shoot (where he meets Cliff) and Amanda joins him as he's getting up the nerve to ask out the (ridiculously hot) underwear model. And the exchange goes like this:

MARC: What is it girl? Someone fell down the well?
MANDY: Betty… Internet Dating… Must mock!
MARC: Gasp! No, bookmark it. I've got to stick around here. I'm trying to get up the nerve to ask hot pants over there…
MANDY: Oh, you're asking him out? Maybe I'll stay here and mock you.
MARC: What?! You think he's out of my league? He's an nine. I'm an eight.
MANDY: He's a ten. You're a six.
MARC: You're a bitch. I'm a seven!

Ok, I'm reading this and realizing that the comedy was in how the two actors delivered the lines. By themselves - only sort of funny. On the air? Laugh out loud hilarious. Youtube it - I'm sure it's there somewhere...

So last night we got introduced to a new character: Cliff St. Paul (played by David Blue).


He's a scroungy photographer turned love interest for Michael Urie's wickedly funny Marc St. James. He's the opposite of what you'd think Marc would date, and I love it. He's this soft funny cuddly sweet guy. Kinda scroungy but not in a dirty way. He reminds me of someone…. Hmmm, who could that be?

But I digress…

Anyway, the show last night was funny, and I wanted to share.

So there you go - from Me to You.

Oh, and Happy Friday! And have a safe weekend!

Top 10 to Fall For

The Fall Season has finally premiered, and I have to say: I'm not as impressed as I had thought I would be. Some of the old favorites have slipped and some of the new predicted-favorites were over-hyped and now come off as being completely under-whelming.

I'm not going to get all into every single opinion that I have; my fingers simply do not have the stamina. Instead I'm just going to give you my "Top Ten to Fall For!"


#10 - Private Practice (New Series, ABC)
I think all the hype that surrounded the amazing ensemble cast and the fact that it's a spin-off based on one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite shows set me up for the serious disappointment that I feel. The medical drama just seems really slow now that it's set outside of a hospital. I guess there was a reason afterall why all medical dramas took place in an E.R. I still love Kate Walsh, and the fact that Audra McDonald aka Broadway Goddess stars as well is a huge draw in my book. But something has to give. There are no laughs! It just all feels too heavy-handed to me. Lighten it up, Shonda Rhymes. I holding out for this to really take off!

#9 - Heroes (Sophmore Season, NBC)
You know I love me some super heroes! But this show gives me A.D.D. ya'll. There are just so many plots to keep track of and characters to remember back stories. Now that it's in a second year there are new characters and time travel and… well, it's just a little over-whelming. The saving grace for me of the program is, of course, the undeniably sexy Milo Ventimiglia. Did you catch the episode with him shirtless? And wet? And with a cute new haircut!? I don't mean to sound so gay about this… but I promise the show is still worthwhile!

#8 - Reaper (New Series, CW)
I love the premise: A misfit turns 21 and discovers these powers; come to find out his parents sold his soul to the Devil before he was born; now the Devil wants him to be a bounty hunter because apparently Hell is over-crowded and evil souls are escaping! And I didn't even mention the best part: Bret Harrison. The shows execution leaves a little to be desired. The film direction is pretty lackluster and I think the whole design of the series could've been more imaginitive. Overall though, I really enjoy it. It's lighthearted and fun, which make it an easy hour to get through!

#7 - Gossip Girl (New Series, CW)
Gossip Girl, aka my dirty little secret. Well, the secret is now out of the bag folks. This teen-drama centers around far-too-priveleged Upper East Sider kids, who apparently don't need fake ID's to drink like messed up 30-Somethings. It's a little contrived. The writing gets kinda corny. But that's what it's supposed to be! It stars some fresh young actors, most impressively Blake Lively. You may remember her from "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" as the sexed-up soccer girl who lost her mother. She's understated and it works. So ya, this may be one you DVR to watch when the world has gone to bed and you can binge on bad teen TV without fearing getting caught. No judgement ;0)

#6 - Grey's Anatomy (Fourth Season, ABC)
I really hope GA is on the upswing. It was once my favorite can't-wait-to-watch-every-week show, but somewhere in the middle of last season I got bored. Izzie got annoying. George got over-dramatic. Well, everyone got over-dramatic. And I'm not just talking about plot-lines, if ya know what I'm sayin'. But we thinned out some story lines: we'll miss Addison, but good-riddance to Burke. And we've got some new faces aka Meredith's little sister. And a whole bunch of new interns, which make the characters we know so well the bosses, which definitely puts a new (hopeful) spin on things! I suppose only time will tell, but I expect to see this one climbing back up my charts.

#5 - Chuck (New Series, NBC)
Another addicting new plot: Nerd Herd employee gets a random email from an old college roommate who was actually a rogue CIA operative; the email "downloads" all of the CIA and NSA secrets into his brain; enter killer NSA agent and hottie CIA agent to look after him. The premise is original, the actors are great, the dialogue is really clever… All in all a really great show to watch! It helps that they've got a leading man you can't help but get a little crush on… It's like what 24 would be if Jack Bauer were a funny loser. I highly recommend it!

#4 - Ugly Betty (Second Season, ABC)
Tried and True. This show got off to a slow start last season but picked up. And now I love it. Forget that it stars one of the best young actresses on TV (America Ferrera) and just look at the ensemble cast: Michael Urie as Mark the Uber-Gay assistant, Mark Indelicato as the Uber-Gay-but-in-an-endearing-way nephew of the title character, Vanessa Williams, Rebecca Romijn, Becki Newton, and Christopher Gorham who seriuosly defines the whole "Hot Nerd" craze. For some reason this cast makes the crazy plots work. The show has it all: laughs, drama, and heart. And quite a range of Broadway guest stars (like Patti LuPone last season as Mark's unaccepting mother!) It's not too late to get into Ugly Betty if you're not already.

#3 - Pushing Daisies (New Series, ABC)
One Word: GORGEOUS. This show is absolutely the most visually stunning thing on TV. I imagine that if Tim Burton decided to do a television series it would look and feel a lot like this. The plot is dark comedy with a hint of twistedly doomed romance, and just a splash of crime drama; all of which doesn't seem like it would go but… IT DOES! Absolutely genius, and by far the most unique thing on TV. And, on a personal note, I should mention that it co-stars Kristen Chenoweth, which may or may not (or may) make me a little biased…

#2 - Dirty Sexy Money (New Series, ABC)
Another cast immaculately assembled by the folks at ABC. Peter Krause, Donald Sutherland, and Jill Clayburgh helm the new series based on a family of disgustingly wealthy New York socialites. And they are, as we all imagine the filthy rich to be, seriously fucked up.The oldest son with senatorial ambitions who has affairs with transsexuals. The daughter on her fourth husband who can't seem to get people to look past her wealth. The partying son with substance abuse issues and an addiction to "celebrity". The daughter who has no talent but idealistically wants to make a name for herself on her own, while of course living in a hotel being paid for by Daddy/inheritance/ridiculous financial means. Oh! And my favorite character: the Preacher son with the black heart. Which all is balanced out by the idealistic family lawyer searching for answers to his father's death and trying desperately to have a better life than his father had. All in all, it's pretty genius! I'm hooked…

#1 - Brothers & Sisters (Second Season, ABC)
My favorite show on TV. Bar none. I cannot watch an episode without getting choked up (damn Sally Field!) and then laughing my head off! One episode in and that show has already gripped me. Between the pending marriages and divorces and dealing with a war in Iraq… I don't know. I can't say enough good things about it! And everyone I know feels pretty much the same. My mom will call me after watching an episode. I'm not sure if it's because of Sally Field missing her own son, or Kevin Walker making my mom hopeful that I'll be a happy gay like him. Whatever it is, it speaks to people. And that's why it's my favorite!

Guilty Pleasures; Part II

Le Sigh!

Time for a quick "Luke and Noah" update because last Friday was BIG (as I'm sure you're more than capable of gathering from the picture above...)

So Noah's dad aka "The Colonel" shows up to bribe Noah into joining the army, but Noah isn't having it. His dad is really coming down on him hard, until Maddie walks in. The colonel is apparently SO shocked by the presense of "a girlfriend" that he completely changes his tune.

All of a sudden Noah is the golden boy (well, we already knew that… yum!) and all is right. So they set plans to go to lunch and Maddie goes home to get changed. Noah loses track of time, and asks Luke to help him find a tie. Noah is totally panicking because he's running late.

Meanwhile Maddie and The Colonel are waiting at the restaurant and the Colonel confesses that he had though Noah made up a girlfriend just to please him.

"Why would he do that?" Maddie asks…

WHY INDEED?!

So back at the station, Luke offers to tie Noah's tie. They get really close. Luke asks Noah "what's wrong" and Noah says "nothing". And then...

THEY TOTALLY KISS!

Take the next few minutes to watch this. It's only like :30 seconds, but I'm sure you won't be able to watch just once...

ATWT Luke and Noah kissing
Uploaded by 123lucyfur

So HOT!

In the scenes for next week (aka this week) Luke's going to tell Maddie… I'll keep you posted!

And for all of you judging me out there -- Is this really worse than most reality tv?

Judge Not Lest You Be Judged…

And so on and so on...

Not To Sound Redundant...

I know that yesterday I put up a video of a dance that Mia Michaels choreographed last week. But last night she managed to yet again top herself with a number danced by Lacey and Neil. It was absolutely beautiful and extremely moving.

And yes. I cried.

As did Mary Martin (I mean Murphy... lol - Thanks, Doug!) . She was speachless!

Again, thank you Mia!

"Timeless" by Lacey and Neil - Choreography by Mia Michaels

Are you watching?

So last week on SYTYCD we got our final 10. I had predicted 8 of 10, so I was pretty darn pleased with myself. Sabra and Dominic are both still around, which I didn't initially predict. Sabra is quickly becoming one of my favorites, so I totally missed the boat on that one. But I don't like Dominic and don't think he should be there. Hok totally got jipped!

The guest judge for the week was Mia, so I was bummed initially because the guest judges don't get to choreograph routines for the show. But they do get to choreograph a group number for the results show... I think I was more excited for this than I was for the results!

God Bless Mia Michaels.

And Danny Tidwell, too! (PS- I don't care if he is arrogant; He is AMAZING and I love him!)

Rick & Steve: Like Every Gay I Know

I'm sorry, but I just can't get enough of this! These lego-men could be based on any number of my friends…. LOL


A New Approach to Threesomes



Gay Couples Therapy


What Dreams May Come... And Go...


Even Lesbians are Funny... I guess...

Rick & Steve: The New Gays on the Block

There have been plenty of cartoons that have given us gay characters: "Queer Duck"; "Sponge Bob Square Pants"; the teacher on "South Park"; Marge's lesbian sister on "The Simpsons" and other numerous characters in multiple gay themed episodes; we even have a questionably flamboyant baby on "Family Guy". But I don't think any are even as close to hitting true "gay humor" on the head like LOGO's new comedy "Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All The World".

Here's what the review from AfterElton.com had to say...

The eponymous Rick (voiced by Will Matthews) and Steve (voiced by Peter Paige) of the title live in "the gayest of gay ghettos," West Lahunga Beach — just one of the show's many double entendres. West Lahunga is the kind of place where lesbian and gay people are so common that they feel completely free to be themselves.

Rick is 30, brainy, Filipino-American, and a self-described insatiable bottom who keeps house for the couple in their modest bungalow. Proving the maxim that opposites attract (and occasionally that oil and water don't mix) Steve proves to be quite different from his significant other.

A 33-year-old gym bunny, Steve's hotness is widely acknowledged by all and, even though he isn't terribly bright, he still manages to make good money as a real estate agent. He's also a versatile top interested in three-ways, a topic of conversation that frequently comes up in a show that is refreshingly and unapologetically upfront about its characters' sexualities and desires.

Indeed, the creators of Rick & Steve operate under the principle of unapologetic frankness most of the time, not worrying what straight viewers might think of the show or that any of their characters will be taken as a representative of the entire gay community. It's a refreshing change that allows the creators to poke fun at elements of gay life without fear of being politically incorrect.
(Source)

I've seen a few clips, and am now plotting to convince my sister to record it every week so that I can watch it…

Look into it… It's Fantastic!

This video clip is the first five minutes of the Series Premiere, in which you'll meet the six main characters: Rick, Steve, Kirsten, Dana, Chuck, and Evan.

Getting back into DANCE, and Tidbits! for 06/14/07

CASTING CALL!
Want to make your Broadway debut in…SHREK...???

I only wish I were kidding. There is a casting call in LA on June 20 for Rock/R&B Singers who would be playing the roles of Shrek and Donkey respectively. Now I'm a big Disney fan, and I love when the old Disney musical films finally make it to the Broadway stage.

But Shrek? Really?!

I suppose it's wrong of me to judge before I see or hear something. But I'm me. And I'm judging. And I'm very skeptical of how this will turn out.

Almost as skeptical as I am of Spiderman: the Musical, which is also currently in development.

Ok, enough Broadway news (mostly 'cuz there really isn't all that much more to tell…) and on to my new obsession: SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!

Last night was the first night of the Finals, and the 20 finalists were paired up to compete for their spots in the Top 10. I'm not a big fan of some of the contestants, but let me just give you a quick run down of my own Final 10!

THE BOYS:

Kameron Bink: The Hipster. A hip/hop contemporary dancer also trained in jazz, tap, ballet, and acrobatics. His hobbies are skydiving and riding motorcycles, and he is H-O-T. I have just a little bit of a crush…

Pasha Kovalev: The Russian. A ballroom trained dancer with a Latin style focus. He's Russian, and yummy! Every season has that good looking foreign guy, and he is it this year.

Neil Haskell: The Boyish Charmer. A jazz/ballet dancer with a musical theater background. Neil was part of the short-lived Broadway production "Times They Are A'Changin". He's going to have to work harder than some of the others to make it to the Top 10 because his personality doesn't really come through, but I think he'll get there. He's got that same boyish quality that got Ivan into the finals last year.

Hok Konishi: The Edge. An absolutely ridiculous breakdancer. He also likes to cook, draw, paint, and play the violin. We also started seeing him last season, when he got rejected in semi's for not having a work visa (he's from England) so I think he won't have any problems finding a spot in the top 10.

Danny Tidwell: The Talent. A professionally trained ballet, jazz, and lyrical dancer. He is the adopted brother of last season's Travis Wall, but he doesn't have the personality that Travis did. Danny is great, but has a lot of attitude which could get him in trouble with both the judges and the audience. After all, this is about personality as much as it's about dancing.

THE GIRLS:

Lacey Schwimmer: The Heir Apparent. Swing/Latin dancer, and sister of last season's winner, Benji. I'll admit that I was skeptical in the beginning that she was getting advanced because of her family ties. But last night she really stood out. She is obviously well-trained and versatile, and has an awesome personality as well. She's a shoe-in for the finals.

Sara VonGillern: The Cool Girl. Trained in all facets of dance, but specializing in hip hop, breaking, and choreography. It was surprising to see that she can do more than just hip hop. She may be the surprise of the season.

Lauren Gottlieb: The Technician. Trained in jazz, ballet, hip hop, lyrical, and tap. We began seeing Lauren last year when she was the assistant to one of the choreographers. There may be some people who will think she's being favored by the judges because of her past involvement with the show, but it's up to the public now. And I think the public is going to love her.

Jaimie Goodwin: The Girl Next Door. The underdog of the girls, but her with her background and relatable personality, I think she'll make it through. She is trained in tap, ballet, jazz, lyrical, contemporary, pointe, and musical theater. The only thing missing from her resume is ballroom, so we'll see how she fares.

Jessi Peralta: The Artist. She's a self-described Gumbo dancer, meaning she mushes it all together to express whatever it is she is feeling. Her contemporary solo work in the auditions was impressive, and then she wowed her first time out in a smooth waltz. With the amount of face time she has received, the judges enthusement, and her raw talent, I think we'll see her straight through to the end.

Here are a couple of highlights from last night's show, in case you missed it.

First is Kameron and Lacey doing a contemporary piece by Mia Michaels.

Sara and partner Jesus doing a pop/jazz routine by Wade Robison.

Danny and partner Anya diong a Jive by Alex Da Silva.

So maybe my little crush makes me a little bit biassed, but how amazing were Lacey and Kameron?! They are by far my favorite couple, with Pasha and Jessi coming in a close second. I wish I could find a video of their Waltz.

If you haven't started watching yet, I highly recommend doing so. As the competition progresses, the dancers and choreography get better and better. You won't be disappointed!

Today is my parents 36th Wedding Anniversary. Can you believe that? 36 years... I have a really hard time getting my head around the fact that they've been with each other that long. I mean, they're great people and all... but that's a long time for anyone!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MOM AND DAD!!!

I don't really have anything going on tonight. I need to pack for the weekend. Mandy and Doug are heading up to Boston to volunteer at the Special Olympics, so I'm heading out to CT to watch the Jack-man. I feel like I haven't seen him in forever, so I'm really excited! Sunday is also Father's Day, so I'm hoping it'll warm up and that we can get some good boat/beach time in.

Have a great day!

BFFs or Are They More?

Last night American Idol had it's gayest moment since Clay Aikin left the show. Having already announced that Phil had been voted off the island, it came down to Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson. There really was no suspense as to who was going to be going home, as Chris was the obviously weaker of the two remaining men. The brilliance of that final moment came when the two talked about how they are good friends.

Best friends, in fact.

They looked lovingly into each other eyes... and all of American pictured them getting it on. Well, all of the Americans that I know anyway.

I'm not one to go around blowing the homo-horn at anyone. Who's to say if they truly are or aren't.

But in my mind, they will always be the cutest couple on this season of American Idol.

In honor of the boys, here's a video showcasing their BFF-ishness… Enjoy!

Ding Dong the LOSER'S GONE!

American Idol fans - rejoice!

I have been complaining for weeks now to my friends about Sanjaya Malakar and the fact that he had last so long on America's favorite singing competition. But this weeks Country theme was the final straw... HOORAY!

I mean the kid well; I'm sure he's a very nice boy. Maybe he can go be on Gilmour Girls or Smallville, or any lame teeny-bopper show for that matter. But please, let's keep him off the airwaves and out of the music industry!

On a much more positive note:

Ya'll know I love Jordin Sparks, and have since the very beginning. She really sang the crap out of "A Broken Wing" last night. Amazing performance! And she looked gorgeous, as always. And to try that song when the original power-house behind the hit was the coach?

My girl Jordin is Ballsy! So here's the video... in case you missed it!

Not enough of a Good Thing...

I just needed to take a moment to bid farewell to "The Black Donnelly's". If you never saw it, you probably never will. And you have been cheated out of a well written and well acted TV drama starring very hot boys. But "The Black Donnelly's" now are on their way to the realms of shows barely remembered.

To Tommy, Shawn, Kevin, and yes even Jimmy...
(But mostly Tommy and Shawn...)

You'll be missed!

(Damn you, NBC... Damn you!)

October Road on ABC

Has anyone been watching ABC's new addition to their Thursdays line up, October Road?

Well, if you haven't, let me tell you what you've been missing.

The plot line is pretty basic: A young man leaves his small town for the big city, finds pseudo-fame and doesn't return for 10 years. He then goes back in search of himself, to find his ex-girlfriend has a child that coincidentally was born within nine months of his departure.

There are other facets to the plotline, spread amoung the varied supporting characters, but I don't want to get into all that. The point is, while it's a completely predictable story line, I think the show is definitely worth watching.

If for no other reason than the leading man (Bryan Greenberg, who I discovered in "Prime" starring opposite Uma Thurman) is H-O-T. So, if there is no other reason to watch mindless TV on Thursday night between 10pm and 11pm, then let the man eye-candy here be enough! It sure is enough for me...

"Ugly Betty" has a gay moment

Last night, Broadway leading lady and gay Icon Patti LuPone guest starred on ABC's "Ugly Betty" in what proved to be the best, and most wonderfully gay, thing on basic TV.

LuPone was appearing as Marc Weiner's mother, visiting NYC and her son for a cat competition. Marc asks Betty to be his "beard" because his old "girlfriend" Mandy and he had been together too long to not break up. Betty agrees to help him out, but doesn't realize what she has gotten herself into when her father ends up calling and inadvertently inviting Mrs. Weiner and her son to dinner a la Casa De Suarez! Hilarity ensues!

All I have to say is Thank GOD for this show. Marc Weiner, played by Michael Urie, is the first character on PrimeTime television since Jack McFarland to create a stereotypical yet lovable gay role. Sometimes the stereotypes are painful (like the many drag-queen-esque moments that the show has provided thus far…) but it is episodes like this that remind us that these "types" are very real. When Marc stood up to his mother in defense of Betty's "swishy" nephew, Justin, I almost cried.

I know, I know… I'm a dork.

But it was so very real to me. I once had to tell my own mother to stop talking shit about my own "swishy" friends. I was 14, and my mother had taken issue with the fact that two of my friends were obviously gay, and she didn't have very many nice things to say about it. I had to tell my mother to look at her own "swishy" son.

So I can relate.

I've never really been able to relate to closeted gay men, because I came out so early in my own life. Marc tells Betty "I can't just tell her. All we have is lies, and if I tell her the truth then we will have nothing."

Good for you, Marc Weiner, and every other closeted gay man, who decides to risk losing a false relationship for a chance at true connection.

It makes my heart smile

(Watch the episode of "Ugly Betty" here!)

How Upset Are We Really?

Let's be honest…

We may have given a damn about the first upset of the competition - Ms. Sloan - but do we even now remember why we liked her? Not so much. And, by the end when Melinda Doolittle is taking the crown from that gray-haired guy from last season, we will not remember the ghetto fabulousness of Ms Stephanie Edwards either.

No, she did not deserve to go home yet. But she really didn't have a chance at winning. It all comes back down to the demographics! She was in direct competition with Melinda and LaKisha, and there was no way she could possibly usurp either of them. She just lacks the "likeability" (not that I like LaKisha, but she's far more talented and I know that a lot of people really do like her.)

The question is: Who is the heir-apparent to Stephanie Edwards fans?

Her loyal voters are obviously going to pass to one of three contestants: Doolittle, Jones, or Sparks.

But who is the most like Stephanie?

Melinda Doolittle has the same soul that Edwards had early on and lost as the competition progressed. She is consistent (unlike Edwards) and it wouldn't be surprising for Edwards fans to jump on her band-wagon. But is Doolittle too old? She definitely lacks the young contemporary edge. And she is so nice. I think that those that appreciated the ghetto in Edwards won't adore the humbleness that has set Doolittle apart.

LaKisha Jones has the same ghetto-fabulous factor shared by Edwards. But, may I say, Jones may just be too black? I know how that sounds, but she is the Effie in this vocal horse race. Her sound is much more intense than the light and contemporty sound that Edwards fans were committed to.

And then there is Jordin Sparks. Jordin has a youthful presence and very contemporary pop-relevant sound. But does she have the soul? Can she embibe the fans who had clung to the ghotto factor? Um, no. She has about as much soul and ghetto in her as one of the Cosby kids.

It will be interesting which of these three ladies comes out on top in this race.

The bright side to this is that we know one of the boys will be leaving next week, as NONE of the Edwards votes will be going to any of the gentlemen.

Please, sweet lord jebus, let it be Sanjay.

The Pageantry That Is the Academy Awards

7:58 pm
A friend of mine did a play by play blog on the Grammy’s. It was so good that I thought I’d try my own play by play for the Oscars. So, here I am, sitting on the couch, laptop in hand (well, on lap is more accurate) , preparing for…

THE 79TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS!

Woo Hoo!

8:15 pm
Wasn’t this thing supposed to start fifteen minutes ago? Sheesh. I hate Ryan Seacrest. If you’re going to host a red carpet event that is supposed to be about fashion than talk about fashion. It’s a good thing that people out there love him. You know who I’d like to see more of?

George Clooney.

Can we get him to host something? He’d be a great interviewer. Very charming.

8:25 pm
Wow. Kate Winslet looks stunning. My lord. I love her. Maybe she can co-host with George…

8:30 pm
Yay! It started!

Wait, where’s Ellen? And who are all these not-very-attractive people in a movie that I am having no interest in, because I don’t see Ellen?

Oh, wait…there’s JHud. I get it, it’s the nominees. Wah-wah…BRING ON THE MONOLOGUES! I wonder if Ellen will dance…

8:40 pm
Oh, there’s Ellen. She looks great! And thank god she’s not wearing sneakers. I really like the white Italian leather. Very classy, and glammed up…for her. And whoever did her hair and make-up should win an award.

Mandy agrees with me.

She seems…nervous. What’s up, Ellen? Get it together sweetheart…
She says if there were no blacks, Jews, and gays there would be no Oscars. It’s funny because it’s true. Camera cuts to some blacks, some Jews, and some gays. Yay, Melissa Ethridge! What is she doing there… oh, ya…she’s got a song for that Al Gore movie nominated. I was so busy trying to figure out why she was there that I stopped paying attention. Now there’s a gospel choir. And a tambourine.

And she’s dancing.


8:48 pm
Award Time!
Wow. You go Nicole Kidman. That dress is amazing. Her hair looks perfect. And Daniel Craig – there are no words… His eyes haunt me. In a good way.

Crap, I am so distracted by the two gorgeous people that I have NO idea what is going on.

Oh, “Pan’s Labyrinth” just won for Art Direction. The first of many categories that I don’t care about. I am going to refresh my diet coke during the speech…

8:55 pm
Why is Will Ferrell singing? Where did he come from, and, more importantly…
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT HAIR?!
Ugh, Jack Black. I know people like him and think he’s funny… But mostly he just reminds me of the obnoxious kids in high school that did stupid stuff during assemblies that weren’t all that funny. He is still in high school.

And I am still rolling my eyes.

Peter O’Toole has no idea what’s going on. I think his hospice workers over-medicated him for this event…

Ok, done singing. Make-up Award…”Pan’s Labyrinth”

Maybe I should see that movie… The clips look kinda creepy on here. Very interesting.

Mandy just told me there are subtitles.

Maybe I won’t see it…

9:04 pm
Um, how many names does Will Smith’s kid need? Yikes. Cute kid though.
Too-long-to-remember Smith and Abigail Breslin are presenting for Best Animated Short. It’s funny cuz they’re short…haha

And the Oscar goes to…oh wait, little Smith just skipped to the next award. Will and Jada were so busy forcing him to make movies that they forgot to teach him how to read.

PS- love Abigail Breslin. And thank God she looks like a little girl and not dressed in some Dakota Fanning-esque couture nightmare. She’s so cute.

I don’t even know who won. I was too busy laughing at the little black boy…

Unless my eyes deceive me, I think I just saw an arab version of West Side Story win an Oscar. Shouldn’t we not give them awards if we are blowing them up? Hmmm…

9:10 pm
Commercial Break. I should’ve waited until now to get my coke, then I could’ve pee’d too…

9:17 pm
A choir is doing a sound effects tribute.

Is this for real? And do they do birthdays?! I’m totally into this. Very cool.

Cut away to Beyonce, which reminds me…
Love the hair. Love the gown. HATE the pageanty rock thing over her shoulder. She was SO close to getting it right. Still, way better than that ghetto-fabulous gold monstrosity she wore to the Golden Globes.

Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear are presenting. Not very funny…
And the award goes to…some guy, whose dad apparently survived Iwo Jima. That’s nice to know. My dad survived Vietnam. Maybe I should be a Sound Editor too… Can’t be that hard and I could go to the Oscars and meet George Clooney.

Jessica Biel is presenting. Why is she here? And is that the goat boy from Narnia? He’s kinda cute…damnit…what are they presenting?!

“Dreamgirls” wins for sound editing. JHud looks so happy… You’d think she had mixed the sound as well as carried the movie.

9:26 pm
Rachel Weisz is presenting Best Supporting Actor. She looks good. A little dark, but good. Love the Vera Wang gown. I think she hit that right on for what’s in this season. And my God, look at her necklace! Ok, Rachel, announce Eddie Murphy so he can say thanks to the Academy.

OMG He didn’t win. Alan Arkin won for “Little Miss Sunshine”.

OK, I was really happy about his win, until he decided to give the most boring speech EVER. And is he that old that he can’t hold up an Oscar AND a piece of paper? Why is it on the floor? That’s not very appreciative…

Mandy agrees.

9:35 pm
I don’t understand the dancers behind the screen. I mean, I get it. It’s cool. But again this is feeling more like a birthday novelty act than an Academy Awards show.

NOTE: Randy Newman needs to go away. I’m over it. And James Taylor needs to go with him. And I love Melissa, but the words on the screen are just kicking a dead horse. We know, we know…we’re ruining the earth. I suppose I shouldn’t gripe seeing as that was the point of the movie. I just hope they don’t turn this awards ceremony about film into a political environmentalist affair.

9:41 pm
I wrote too soon. Al Gore and Leo are on stage…here comes the lecture…

Mandy quips about how fat Gore has gotten. It’s funny cuz it’s true. I’d vote for a fat president about as fast as I’d vote for an over-stuffed millionaire who thinks he’s qualified because he worked on the Olympics back when.

Ok, refocus…

The Oscars are green.

Kwah? I don’t get it. I suppose this political environmentalist moment was inevitable. Leo looks good though… I’m not usually into him so I’m a little taken back by my own enthusiasm.

Mandy agrees :-)

9:46 pm
Cameron Diaz is presenting Best Animated Feature. Boy, I hate her dark hair. Why can’t she go back to being a fun Hollywood blond? And I hate the dress. She is wrapped in curtain. An expensive curtain, probably. But a curtain none the less.

“Happy Feet” wins. “Monster House” was way cooler than the penguin movie.

What is Ben Affleck doing? Oh, I forgot that he has an Oscar for screen-writing. “Jersey Girl” and “DareDevil” must’ve blocked that from my memory… And here comes the boring montage.

I would like to take this moment to say that I love when they cut to celebs when “Nobody’s” win. And then the celebs look bored. And I like that because I am bored, and I feel like we have something in common.

It’s almost like actually being there…

9:55pm
Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren are presenting. Wow, she looks amazing. Good for her! It is afterall the year of Mirren. What I don’t understand is why we still care about Tom Hanks…

Best Adapted Screenplay goes to “The Departed”. Whatever. Jack Nickolson looks like he cares about as much as I do.

And Peter O’Toole still looks over medicated and, if at all possible, even more confused than he did when this parade started.

10:10 pm
I love love LOVE the new display of costumes! This is so much better than watching videos of pictures and concepts. How fun to actually see the costumes there on the stage! My one complaint…

We should’ve learned from Giselle and Tyra that models, no matter what they may think, CANNOT ACT. So please, in future years, please tell the models to show the clothes and leave the horrible attempts at recreating Meryl Streep’s brilliant performance at the door. It is taking away from the clothes.

How cute were Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt?! One of the nights highlights for sure. I wonder if Streep was in on the joke.

Mandy says she’s just that brilliant.

I have to agree. Because the girls are just so tickled by it. I wonder if they realize how lucky they are to have worked with her. Not that she hasn’t work with EVERYONE, cuz she has. But I mean in this film particularly. I wish it could win best picture…

Hey! It’s CRAZY! Formerly known as Tom Cruise. A man I couldn’t care less about.
Giving an award that I couldn’t care less about.
To a woman who needs to eat something.
Wah-wah.

10:20pm
Gwyneth Paltrow is beautiful.

But her dress looks like brunch. All she needs is a bagel and schmear to go with her hand-sewn lox…
“Pan’s Labyrinth” won again. Mandy suggests that we actually go see it. I tell her that I’ll go see it if she goes to see “Lyrics” with me. She’ll think about it…

10:30pm
I heart Robert Downey Jr. The man is hot. All there is to it. Naomi Watts looks uncomfortable. And kind of like Michelle Williams circa last year…

“Pirates” wins…something. I was distracted by Robert Downey Jr, and laughing at his drug joke. I love me a man who can make fun of himself. And still come off looking that yummy. Kinda like Clooney…where is George? We need to get to the Best Supporting Actress already! I’m bored.

I was thinking about Downey and Clooney and totally missed what the foreigners were saying. I think there was a montage… I wish I cared enough to rewind.

Clive Owen has a big head. Very sexy-ugly.

A german film wins an award.

I need to go to bed…

10:40 pm
GEORGE CLOONEY! Ok, I’m up!
Mandy compares him to Cary Grant, and I agree through my face-splitting grin. I love that he gets to give Jennifer Hudson her Oscar… I’m sure she’ll win…

Ok, here comes the envelope and the winner is…

JENNIFER HUDSON!

Not surprised but totally elated for her! Oh, she kissed Clooney…

Lucky Bitch.

She’s so cute. And so grateful. And really into God right now. It’s ok, JHud, you cry and party it up! Just don’t fall back into oblivion after this…please?

11:00pm
Went to the bathroom and grabbed a snack. Came back to Celine Dion singing a boring song. Is she wearing Gwyneth’s dress?

11:02pm
Clint Eastwood is translating for some Italian guy. Cut to the audience, who looks just as confused as I am.

Again, it’s nice to have something in common with them!

11:20pm
“Wolverine” and “Selma Hayek part 2” (love her dress by the way…It’s very Sex and the City when Carrie falls asleep waiting for the Russian to take her to dinner her first night in Paris…) just gave Babel an award for… I don’t know. I was thinking about Sex and the City and looking for my cell phone to call Brian. Then I found my phone and the battery was low, so I decided to call him back later.

And by later, I mean I’ll email him tomorrow…

“Little Miss Sunshine” just won the screenwriting award. Good for Joe Schmoe who used to be Matthew Broderick’s assistant. I think quitting that job was a good career move. If he had worked for Sarah Jessica, that would be a different story. But Matthew Broderick? Meh…

The dancers just make the Devil’s stiletto. Seriously, how did they do that…?!

11:32pm
J-Lo is introducing the “Dreamgirls” songs. The awards now again have my FULL attention.

JHud looks wonderful. Such a great dress! Although I’m worried that her boob is going to pop out. YIKES! She looks so happy; I’m so happy for her!

WOW! Beyonce looks incredible. I LOVE that dress! How come she didn’t just wear that one on the red carpet? Instead of her coral and vegetable medley? Can I just tell you how much I love that she’s like “You didn’t nominate me, but I’m still going to sing the $hit out of this song!” Her hair looks so great (did I already mention that?)

Anika Noni Rose is here. She didn’t want us to forget that she was in the movie too. But I don’t like this song. And I really don’t like home-boy here singing this song.

Cute! They’re like back-up singers!

And did everyone else here Anika Noni Rose just hit that high note Outta the Kodak? WOW.

By far the BEST musical performance I have EVER seen at the Oscars. That was truly amazing. You Go, Dreamgirls!

Queen Latifah and John Travolta give best Song to Melissa Ethridge. I love her, so I’m not totally bummed that Dreamgirls got shut out. I love that she thanked her wife.

I want a wife.

And by wife, I mean husband.

And by husband, I mean someone who can hold my attention for more than the usual week that it takes for me to get bored.

Hmm, getting distracted again…

11:50pm
Ok I’m bored of the Oscars. This has gone on for FAR too long.
Kate Winslet (who looks absolutely amazing) gives an award to an old lady who did the Editing on “The Departed”

Looks like Scorsese might just finally win one.

Crap, the dead people montage. I’m going to fall asleep.

12:02pm
Philip Seymour Hoffman needs a comb.
Helen Mirren wins for the Queen.
Mandy and I both drone yet again about how great she looks. She really is such a cute old lady…
By the by…couldn’t they find a good picture of Dame Judy? What was with all the turquoise?!?

Chris Connelly bugs, and I’m having a really hard time paying attention now. Mandy says she’s going to bed, and to just fill her in in the morning. Well she’s got another thing comin’ if she thinks I’m just going to tell her.

She’ll have to read the blog ;)

12:13pm
I have to get up at 5:00am. This sucks!
Reese looks great. Love the dark purple dress, but kinda wish her hair was more elegant.

Forrest Whitaker and his wonky eye win Best Actor. Will Smith is crying…because Forrest won or because he didn’t? I have no idea.

MAYBE Jada just told him she’d kick his a$$ if he didn’t win… She’s a tough black chick, she could do it and I’d be SCARED.

Spielberg, Coppola, and Lucas come on and try to be funny. Directors shouldn’t think that they can be funny…

Marty Scorsese wins. It’s about time. Maybe I should see “the Departed”…

12:20pm
Diane Keaton is presenting the Best Picture nominees while Jack Nicholson looks lazy and bored. I am so not a fan of his bald head, and someone needs to get his aging a$$ to a gym. Keaton looks great, but I am bugged that she is giving thumbs up to the nominees. Lame Diane…Lame.

“The Departed” wins. Ok, now I will go see that movie. Or rent it or something. I’m glad “Babel” didn’t win, but kinda sad “Little Miss Sunshine” didn’t. It would be nice for something like that to win. Funny, relatable, and “off-color”.

But the mob movie is the winner.

Ellen says goodbye and there is confetti. Reminds me of the ‘American Idol’ finale…
I wonder when Kelly Clarkson’s new album is coming out?
And NOW I am going to bed!