The FaceBook Status

Can we talk for a second?

Here's my issue: I cannot stand it when people use their status to inform the world of downer (and private) things happening in their lives.

I mean, if you've recently been broken-up with and need to lament, then hell -- knock yourself out! But things like being informed a loved one is dying, you've miscarried, or even if your DOG has miscarried are NOT. OKAY.

Seriuosly kids. A couple months ago a long lost friend from back home posted a status: "Had a stomach ache. Now I'm not pregnant anymore..." Yes, that is very sad. And if we were good friends I would want to know. But we're not. So how about keeping it off your status, eh? Leave it at "had a very bad day" and let those who actually want to know (dash, those that should know) ask about it!

What's bringing this on? Today someone posted a status about her dog having puppies two days ago, and how surprised she was when another (dead) one was birthed today! UGH!

I don't think she reads this blog, but Ashlee, if you're reading this: That's so not okay. I'm so sorry that happened and I can imagine it was pretty traumatizing. But honey, next time just call me if you want to talk about it. And if you feel wierd about talking about it because we haven't spoken in like 7 years then you SHOULD FEEL WIERD ABOUT PUTTING IT ON YOUR STATUS!

Come on people. Seriously.

There's a Kid Inside

Every morning, one of the first things on my list is catching up on my friend Jarett's blog. Well this morning I got the best news via PopWrap -- guess what's coming out on DVD ya'll???

X-MEN THE ANIMATED SERIES!!!

The 8 year old inside of me did a backflip, I swear to god!

Growing up I would RUSH home from school to watch this series. It was my pre-pubescent porn! I swear to you -- sometimes I think that Colossus and Wolverine made me gay.

I've gone back and watched a few of those online, and it's true: the animation is not that great and the dialogue is laughable. But ask that Kid who lives inside of me if he cares...

Not even a little! I'm going to amazon to place my order. Right. Now.

You All Should Be So Lucky

I had one of those weekends that left me in the best mood ever. Seriously ya'll, everyone should get to have weekends like that -- it was pretty damn near perfect!

First of all, my buddy Joe was in town. Joe lives in San Fran, and anytime he is around debauchery ensues! Friday night Joe, Scotty, Steve, Jarett and I all went out. First stop: pre-gaming in the East Village. Second stop: an awesome (and crazy hooked up!) dinner at a friend's restaurant. THIRD stop: an 80's themed dance party on the Upper East Side! And yes, we kept going... then it was on to Barrage and the Ritz, though I actually don't really remember being at the Ritz. Ya, that's how insane that night was.

My cousin Julia was also in town with her hubby and baby Joseph. Hadn't seen her since my sisters wedding in 2002! So good to see her and meet her new little guy. Joseph is 1 and super-adorable!

Speaking of adorable, my family all came into the city for a little CPZoo action and chilling in the park. Ya'll know how much I love my family. LOVE. THEM. And ya'll should be so lucky to have nephews as amazing and adorable as mine! Point in case...

I love how in this shot, Jack looks like he wants to kill himself but is smiling anyway. That's my boy!

One more, just for good measure ;)

I had Finn in the baby bjorn for most of that morning. So fun to walk around with the little guy! Funny story: Brian and I showed up wearing nearly the same outfit. No, it wasn't planned. Anyway, there was a moment when we were walking through the zoo. I had Finn in the bjorn, Brian was pushing the stroller and holding Jack's hand, and we somehow had managed to get away from the group. At that moment I noticed quite a few people looking... they must've thought we were just the cutest little gay family... lol

Then it was on to the park, where two other groups of boys that I'm good friends with were also hanging out! There was lots of gossiping and cruising of shirtless boys ALL OVER the park. Good times :)

Then it was on to football -- where we tied our game against team Philip Marie. I didn't even know you could tie in football. Wah wah. Fun game though because my friends Alex and Matt are both on that team and it's always fun to play your friends! Oh, and I got MVP again. Woot!

After football I met up with Brian again. Got ready down at his place and then was out for the night. First stop: a few quick cheap drinks at Pieces. Then we met up with the boys at View Bar, Barracuda, and I think we went to Gym as well but honestly am not sure. Oy.

Sunday we had the most insane brunch experience EVER. Our first thought was Il Bastardo, but by the time we (me, Brian, Beaux, Scotty, Steve, Jarett, and Joe) called for a reservation they were already booked out. So I suggested Nero, a great little italian wine bar in the Meatpacking District. I've eaten there quite a few times and the food is usually good. However, since my last visit, they started having a DJ for Sunday brunch. I kid you not, it was like walking into a nightclub! Thumping techno tracks were spinning, we were all starving, and there was a table of Euro-trash adjacent to us -- needless to see we were not all that thrilled. Weeeellllll, cut to two hours later after maybe 12 rounds of mimosas and champagne and we were having the TIME OF OUR LIVES! Seriously, who knew brunch at a rave was a rockin' good time? We were all up dancing with that ET and cheering the DJ on. You can kinda see here what it was like. I'm not sure what Scotty is doing. I think Joe and the waitor maybe had a flirty exchange and that was his reaction? I mean, the waitor looks REALLY happy...

Ya, insane. Then we went to beer blast at the Eagle which was really crowded but lots-o-fun. Dinner at 7A and then bar hopping around the East Village. I'm pretty sure the sun was up when we finally called it a night -- see, this is what happens when Joe is in town!

But wait, Spenc... if you didn't go to bed until the sun was up...

Yep, that's right. No work for me yesterday! Bad employee...

Of course last night was dodgeball. My team only had 3 people show up, and you have to have at least 4 to play so we had to forfeit. Boo. It was a good after party though. We went to Gym and then onto Splash. I think I was home around 2:00 a.m. Oops! That sure wasn't my intent, however worth it :)

So you see? It's been a damn good couple of days!

Back to the old grindstone today. Looking forward to babysitting my nephew Ajani tonight and being chill!

Happy Tuesday!

Under the Umbrella of God and Doctors

I'm sure by now you have all seen that melodramatic ad from the National Organization for Marriage. They warn that "a storm is coming" and that storm is, you guessed it, gay people.

They're so upset that we're taking the issues too far, forcing it into their lives, making them choose between their careers and religious beliefs, and cramming our beliefs down their childrens' throats within the realms of (gasp!) public school systems!

If you haven't seen the ad, you should really google it. It's by far one of the most ridiculous things I have EVER seen. And then you should google the audition videos from the ad -- that's right, those horrified straight folk? Actors. And not very good ones...

Can I just say that I am SO HAPPY to be on the gay/straight alliance side of this fight?! Those people look like morons, and our side responds accordingly.

Thanks to the Genius that is "Funny or Die" a response (of sorts) has been issued. It's sheer brilliance leaves me proud to be a big ole 'mo. Take a minute, and check it out!!!

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

My Friend, Kristin Chenoweth

So my best friend, Jarett, has the coolest job like ever. Last week he got to interview none other than the inimitable and fiercely adorable Kristin Chenoweth. And if you know me at all you know that I DIED when he told me.

Here's the video of his interview. They totally love each other. And if she loves him, then sort of by default she loves me. We're totally BFF's.

Ok, so I'm a little crazy. Leave me alone -- I love her!

Hey, I Know Her!

Last night I got quite the surprise... I was over with the boys watching the American Idol results show, eating french onion soup and crudite, when BAM! There she is! Right there amongst hundreds of screaming fans, holding a sign reading "I (heart) Matt"... was the one and only -- Miss Lorissa! :)

Your poor taste in Idol contestants not withstanding... So good to see you in my TV!

bitchpleeze.com

At the 2 minute mark, I DIE.

And then I die again around 2 minutes 50 seconds!

Please to enjoy: Miss Angie Tempura of bitchpleeze.com :-)

Easter Baby

HAPPY EASTER!




We had a great family dinner yesterday, and I got lots of baby time in. F'reals ya'll -- I want one!

My sister and I subconsiously coordinated -- Jack, Finn, and I were all in argyle. (Somewhere in Wisconsin, Brian's head exploded.)



It's a seriously good thing I've got adorable nephews to keep me happy because I am one ah-coo away from pairing up with a lesbian to make one!





I mean, can you blame me? How adorable is this???





If you're not dying, you may be dead inside.



So looking at all the photos this morning made me remember how little and adorable Jack was. I mean, he still is. But he's so not a baby or a toddler even anymore. He's such a little man. He no longer looks like this...





But damn he was the cutest thing!





I die.



Now he's all in to superheroes and what not, but I gotta tell you -- playing superheroes is not nearly as much fun when there's an open bar and amazing hors d'oeuvres in the other room. Just sayin'. I mean, Nano likes to drink... and it's hard to drink when your three-cocktails-in Joker is getting his ass whooped by a three-year-old Batman who apparently now carries bombs that will not only freeze you but light you on fire in the same instant.



Technology has come a long way since I was an imaginary superhero.



Hope everyone had a nice Easter! Even for you jews who celebrated just another Sunday... I hope it was a nice one!

Family Gay

So, I know that it calls out a bunch of stereotypes that I don't think many a homosexual would appreciate, but when taken with the proverbial grain of salt? This is pretty fucking hysterical.

Fall Flamery

Not to be a total theater queen about it... but this fall is bringing so much promising musical madness!

In theaters, we're getting an update (not a straight remake) of the 1980's hit "Fame". I've seen the movie, and while I loved it I just couldn't get that into it. It is SO dated. But I just saw the trailer for the update, and got CHILLS ya'll.



And then, in the realm of primetime television, we're getting a new series called "Glee" (starring Lea Michelle who f'reals blows my mind). I might not be supposed to say this, but I've already seen the pilot episode. True, the pacing was, well, strange. But the episode culminates with the newly formed glee club rocking out to a little Journey (as you can hear in the promo spot below) and I am not kidding when I say that NONE OF THE PEOPLE I was watching with could stay sitting down. AMAZING! I absolutely cannot wait for this to start later this year!



So ya, all you musical fans out there -- it's going to be a good year!

Coincidence? Or Photo Shopped?

I was looking through some old blogs, and came across this photo.

Which reminded me of this photo.

Wierd.

Is the Idol machine so hard up for photographers that they reduced to a cut and paste? For real, what's up with this?

For Your Listening Pleasure

I was on my buddy's Soap Opera page today, and noticed that Rachel Yamagata was going to appearing as a musical guest. After watching the video, I just couldn't help but share!

Enjoy!

Might Be Going to Hell, But...

..it is totally worth it!

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY EVERYONE!

I gotta admit: I'm a big fan of this feaux-holiday. Last year I got SERIOUSLY played thanks to my (brilliantly evil) cousin Jos. He concocted this whole lie about a week in advance about meeting Sarah Jessica Parker. Cut to April Fool's Day '08 -- he tells me he got tickets to the "Sex and the City" movie premiere and wants me to babysit. I could've killed him! (Ya'll know how much I love me some SJP -- Jeremiah: bite your tongue!)

Anyway, I fell face first into his lie and to this day we still laugh about it all the time.

So I took a note from my cousin, and this year began premeditating my own AF joke on Monday...

Recognize this boy?

Ok, so that's Marco. He is my friend from L.A. that I became "involved" with while I was on vacation two weeks ago. He is coming to visit this weekend -- yay! (Hi Marco :P)

So on Monday, I was bitching about work and how busy I've been (this part is not a lie) and I mentioned that my boss was going to be in Europe for the last part of the week. And mid-point one of our 4-hour long conversations, I decided to play a little joke...

Me: Oh, so get this! My boss looks at me today and goes "by the way, might need you to leave Thursday and meet me in Milan on Friday for our meeting..."
Marco: Oh my god! Did you tell her I'm coming out there?
Me: Of course! My response was "ABsolutely NOT!"

Cut to the next day....

Me: Dude, my boss is putting me through it. She won't let this travel thing go...
Marco: Well what are you going to do?
Me: Well I'm not going! They can't technically make me, and I've got plans!
Marco: Good cuz they would have to deal with me...

Side note, Marco if from Brooklyn and kinda scrappy ;)

Ok, so cut to this morning... The big day! tee hee hee

I send a text: "dude, I'm freaking out. I might have to leave tomorrow. epic bad timing - pls call me when you can"

RING RING

Me: Ugh, hey...
Marco: What is going on?
Me: Apparently the client sent an email to my boss saying that they were expecting I would be part of the team to be there. So she just sent me an email saying I needed to make arrangements and that she was sorry. She cc'd her boss, who then proceeds to chew me out for saying no in the first place. He was all "do you even care about staying employed?" Ugh, I'm freaking out dude. They're giving me no choice.....
Marco: This sucks. I'm like shaking... Well, ok. So... now what?
Me: I don't know dude. I guess.... I guess this is the point in the conversation that I have to say to you... APRIL FOOL'S!

I died. Like, lost my shit on the street corner as he proceeded to cuss me out and promise a beating when he gets here! LOL Loves it...

I know it was probably mean, especially the whole build up over the past few days, but I just couldn't resist! I may be going to hell (directly to hell, not passing go or collecting $200) but at least I'm doing it with a smile in on my face.

Hope everyone has a great day and doesn't fall too hard for any serious pranks!

Except, actually, I hope that you do -- because hind sight has a way of turning these jokes into awesomely funny memories.

Eventually.